Free from fear or favour
No tracking. No cookies

Revealed: The Worst Big Woke Things in the World

In a bid to join the booming right wing media market, Otto English reveals his secret Big Woke hitlist

Umbrellas were the precursors of cancel culture because they literally censor rain. Thin edge of the wedge…


Help expose the big scandals of our era.

1. Environmentalism: The Cult

The fun-hating ideology which seeks to destroy our beloved world.

From the dawn of history, our ancestors did what they wanted. They harvested forests, drove wildlife to extinction, and burned rubber tyres in their gardens on bonfire night.

But from the 1990s onwards, a group of do-gooders – led by Bill Gates, George Monbiot and Tony Blair – decided that the fun must stop.

Environmentalism is a cult of joyless worthies. Crazy people who want us to breathe fresh air and gift our planet to future generations. We must stop it or lose everything we value. Brits love our old diesel vehicles and traffic queues so, Greta, if you’re reading this, listen up. Leave our CO2s alone.

2. The European ‘Union’

For hundreds of years, Europe had ‘history’. Nation fought nation and gave generations of young men the chance to fight and sometimes die in war.

They served another purpose too. If you look at old black-and-white films of the early 1900s, you can see that everyone is thin, in part, because they all walked about more quickly, but also because they had rationing.

We Brits loved our Spitfires and statues of Winston, but most of all we loved our wars because they were like fabulous diets. But then Angela Merkel and some other globalists decided enough was enough and brought peace, prosperity and opportunity to the continent.

It makes me so angry. And so sad. So angry and so sad.

3. Cancel Culture

It was all great material until I got cancelled.

4. The Woke Beeb

Everyone who truly loves this fantastic nation hates the BBC and its woke agenda.

The Beeb’s long history of wokery began with the multicultural The Black and White Minstrel Show in the 1970s, headed south with the much-hated Morecambe and Wise Christmas specials, and reached its nadir with the ‘BBC News’.

I don’t need the ‘BBC News’ to tell me what is going on in the world, thank you very much. I am much happier making it all up in my head.

5. (Not So Good Old) British Humour

I have a highly developed sense of humour. I laughed all the way through the last bit of Titanic, and I enjoy nothing more than a good scroll through Instagram on the toilet, while loudly mocking people’s botched Botox injections to myself.

But, look, there’s funny and then there’s the ‘British sense of humour’, which is just the woke agenda by another name. And I know this for a fact – because I don’t understand it.  

6. The NHS – That Socialist Nightmare

A free-at-the-point-of-use health service, providing care from the cradle to the grave, paid for out of the taxes of hard-working people for the greater collective good? If anyone has ever come up with a more wicked concept, then I would like to see it.

Why are we doing this when billionaire Americans could be running things and making shareholders rich by providing something worse? It’s not even Stalinist – it’s the kind of thing you can imagine Meghan Markle dreaming up when she’s not raising racial injustice awareness with Prince Harry.

7. Christine E Thompson

I sat next to Christine in primary school in Wellington and she was just about the nicest person I ever met. Super-smart, always smiling, very clever and generous to a fault. She never had a bad word to say about anyone. She excelled in everything she did and wore it lightly.

Everyone liked her, while I was barely noticed by my classmates, teachers, and even my parents because Christine was the school star. Even the worst bullies loved Christine. She was the kind of girl who lays flowers in tribute to others – even when nobody is looking. In other words: pure evil.

Last I heard of Christine, she was working as a human rights lawyer, representing some of the most marginalised communities in the world. But perhaps I should thank her, because it was through knowing her, aged six, that I determined to make it my life’s work to destroy everything that she stood for.

8. GB News

I didn’t change. It did.    

9. People

We Brits have always hated people. It’s what makes us British.

Whether making snide remarks about them or seeking out those who might be weaker in some way and then mocking them in our tabloid columns and TV slots, we proper Brits who love George and the Dragon and fish and chips have always been misanthropic.

Not hating other people is actually unpatriotic because, if you like people, then you hate this country and our flag as well as the fabulous Last Night of the High School Proms. It’s a stark choice. You can despise everyone else or love our late Queen.

10. The RNLI

The year 1822 was the dawn of one of the darkest chapters in British history. For it was then that a wokeist called William Hillary decided to set up the extremist terrorist taxi service which we now know as the ‘RNLI’.

Inspired by shipwrecks off the coast of the Isle of Man (soon to be changed to the Isle of Gender Neutral), this heinous individual created a movement that would eventually see millions of fighting age men make their way to replace British culture with an Islamic Terrorist State with the help of volunteers in inflatable rafts. No organisation on Earth has been responsible for such unspeakable evil.

Look, Britain and the rest of the world can be Great Again. But to that end, we need to call out the real enemies in our midst whether they be the RNLI, the BBC, human rights lawyers, or just other people we don’t like. 

If I, in my own humble way, have played a part in that process, then maybe my time compiling lists has been well spent.

Happy 1 April!

Written by

This article was filed under